23's a company
by frankjoeson
Summary: (multi-crossover) What happens when Young Link, Kratos and Atreus, Conan The Barbarian, The Dragonborn, Guts, Mina and Akira, and Jonathan Joestar and Speedwagon join the company of Thorin Oakenshield to take down the dragon Smaug. Awesomeness happens that's what!


I do not own The Hobbit, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, The Elder Scrolls, The Legend of Zelda, Berserk, Conan The Barbarian, Dance In The Vampire Bund, or God of War.

Rated M for battle scenes, nudity, and swearing.

* * *

In a distant world called Middle-Earth, there was a race of small people called Hobbits. They like nothing more to relax, live in their hobbit holes and party. Who knew that some unexpected guests would change one Hobbit's life.

* * *

*a knock on the door*

Hobbit: Now who would that be?

*the hobbit opens the door and finds a elven-looking boy with green clothes and hat*

Boy: Are you Billbo Baggins?

Hobbit: That would be me.

Boy: Then, Link at your service.

LINK

THE HERO OF TIME

Bilbo: Sorry, I wasn't expecting visitors.

BILBO BAGGINS

BAGGINS OF BAG END

Link: I thought Gandalf told you.

Bilbo: WHAT! I thought he was joking with me.

Link: I don't blame you, I sensed his power but he was still funny.

Bilbo: Well since you're here, you can sit down. Do you want something to drink.

Link: Some milk please. And some in a bowl for my pet here.

*Link raises his hat and a small flying, burning snake flies out*

Link's pet: Hello.

*Bilbo gets a little surprised, but starts pouring the milk*

Bilbo: Well hello to you too, What's your name.

Link's pet: Volvagia, but you can call me Vol.

VOLGAVIA

BABY DRAGON

*Bilbo puts the bowl and cup on the table*

Bilbo: So where are you guys from?

Link: We're from another world called Hyrule.

Bilbo: So what race are you, you look like an elf.

Link: I am called a Hylian.

Bilbo: And what is your pet.

Vol: A dragon.

*knock on the door*'

Bilbo: Another visitor.

*Bilbo opens the door to find a man in a suit of armor and ready for battle*

Man: Dovahkiin, at your service.

Bilbo: Dovahkiin, what does that mean?

Dovahkiin: Dragonborn.

DOVAHKIIN

DRAGONBORN

Bilbo: well than come on in Dragonborn.

*the Dragonborn walks into the house, dodging the chandelier, and sitting at the table*

Bilbo: So where are you from?

Dragonborn: The world of Nirn, I live in Skyrim, home of the Nords, on the continent of Tamriel. You can probably guess what race I am.

Bilbo: I guess the title of dragonborn isn't just for show.

Dragonborn: yep, it is a title for a person with a soul of a dragon.

*knock on the door*

Bilbo: Another visitor.

*Bilbo opens the door to find 2 people, a buff man with blue hair, and a blond haired man with a nice hat carrying a sword.*

Man: Jonathan Joestar at your service, but everyone calls me jojo.

JONATHAN JOESTAR

TRUE GENTLEMAN

Man: And I'm Robert E.O Speedwagon, his loyal servant, at your service

SPEEDWAGON

LOYAL SERVANT

Bilbo: If everyone is coming I should have put a sign up.

Jojo: Gandalf did.

Bilbo: That mark was left a week ago.

Jojo: Well may we come in.

Bilbo: Yes you can Jonathan and Speedwagon.

*Speedwagon tips his hat to Bilbo as they walk in, both dodging the chandlier*

Dragonborn:I don't think you use that sword yourself Speedwagon.

Speedwagon: Nope, it's Jonathan's, I just carry it for him.

Dragonborn: Do you have a weapon Speedwagon.

Speedwagon: My hat has a blade in it and can be tossed like a boomerang.

Link: I have a boomerang myself.

Dragonborn: And what happens if that fails, or if they get too close to throw, you need to have another weapon.

Speedwagon: Oh yeah, Jonathan is usually the close-up one.

Dragonborn: Mind if I see your arm, I work as a blacksmith from time to time to get some extra money. I just need to read your measurements.

Speedwagon: What do you say Jojo?

Jojo: He knows what he's doing.

Speedwagon: (rolls up sleeve) Then yes.

(Dragonborn examines Speedwagon's arm)

Dragonborn: Done, and I say you can use this.

(Dragonborn pulls out a Steel Warhammer)

Speedwagon: Nice hammer, but how did you know I can fight with one.

Dragonborn: A Nord can always tell who can fight with what.

Speedwagon: What is a Nord?

Dragonborn: One of the human species in our world.

(another knock on the door)

Bilbo: Another visitor

(Bilbo opens the door to see 2 people, a young kid with a bow, and an old man with pale white skin with red markings on it, carrying 2 strange swords and an ax)

BOY: Atreus and Kratos, at your service.

ATREUS

SON OF WAR

Man: I am Kratos.

KRATOS

DAD OF WAR

(the two go into the house, Kratos dodging the chandiler)

(Dragonborn walks up to Kratos)

(The two have a stare down, then they lock their hands together in an arm wrestling fashion)

Atreus: What is going on?

Jojo: Warrior greeting, don't disturb them.

(another knock at the door)

Bilbo: Another visitor

(Bilbo opens the door to see 2 people, a little girl with long blonde hair in twin tails in a dress, and a young man with black hair in normal clothes)

Girl: I am Mina Tepes, at your service.

MINA TEPES

QUEEN VAMPIRE

Young man: And I am her husband Akira Regindorf, also at your service.

AKIRA REGINDORF

THE WOLF AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Bilbo: If everyone is invading my house because of Gandalf, you can come in.

(Akira and Mina come in, Akira dodging the chandelier)

Speedwagon: How can a man like you marry a little girl.

Mina: I am not a girl, I am the queen of the vampires!

(Jojo, Speedwagon, and Dragonborn get surprised)

All three: QUEEN OF VAMPIRES!

(Akira immediately goes to defend Mina, and Jojo, Speedwagon, and Dragonborn looks at him)

All three: SO THEN THAT MAKES YOU A VAMPIRE AS WELL!

Akira: A Werewolf-Vampire hybrid.

Dragonborn: I was a former werewolf, but I cured myself because I could never sleep.

Mina: Now that's my problem.

Speedwagon: I'm still waiting on the answer, how old are you.

Mina: Years over Akira.

Speedwagon: So why do you look like this.

Mina: I used magic to hide my real age, 3 bastards wanted to rape me and make a child.

Link and Kratos: Ouch.

Mina: You don't know the half of it boys.

(another knock on the door)

Everyone except Mina, Akira, and Kratos: Another visitor.

(Bilbo opens the door to see a barley clothed man with long hair)

Man: I am Conan, at your service little one.

CONAN

THE BARBAIRIAN

Bilbo: Come on in

(Conan enters, dodging the chandelier)

(Kratos and Dragonborn stare him down)

(All three draw their swords)

Dragonborn: Enchanted

Kratos: Curved Chain

Conan: Legendary

(all three laugh)

Mina: Akira's sword is the biggest.

Conan and Dragonborn: Oh is he now!

(Dragonborn and Conan pick up Akira and slam him in the floor)

Akira: DAMN IT MINA!

(Everyone except Bilbo laughs)

(Another knock on the door)

Bilbo: Another visitor.

(Bilbo opens the door to see a tall one-eyed man with a metal arm and wielding a giant sword)

Man: I am Guts, at your service.

GUTS

THE BLACK SWORDSMAN

Bilbo: Come on in

(Guts enters, dodging the chandelier, and giving Atreus and Link weird looks)

Guts: Why are there kids coming, their going to get themselves killed!

Dragonborn: With Nord customs, people are trained to fight soon after they can walk, so if they want to help they can help!

(Another knock on the door)

* * *

I'm cutting this chapter in two, I want to give the dwarves their chance to shine.

With the marriage thing about Akira and Mina, they basically are at this point so I just decided to cut the bullshit

Small warning about Kratos, he is minor ooc, This takes place after the end of god of war 4, and Atreus is trying to get him to open up to people.

The Link is young link


End file.
